Monday, May 10, 2010

Happy Freaking Mother's Day!

So I suppose this is going to be more of a whining session, rather than an update or whimsical posting. I've just been kinda blue about a few things, I guess.

So today, well yesterday really, was Mother's Day. First, I am truly grateful to my mom who raised me by herself. She's an amazing woman who has been through a lot in her life, no thanks in large part to my father. I also wish the very best to all of the mother's out there who have the toughest job in raising a human being. I am not being fictitious, I truly mean it. Even though it's a Hallmark Day and mom's should be thanked everyday, not just one day a year, they truly deserve a day dedicated to them. Having said all of that, Mother's Day sucks when you want nothing more than to be one.

I have mom envy. I want so much to have a child and most days I deal with it by trusting that God has a plan for everything and maybe a child just is not in his plan for me. Well, today I was just sad. Everything everywhere was mommy this and mother that and I just wanted to crawl back in bed and sleep it out until the next morning when it would be over. Selfish, I know. Sometimes I just don't think it's fair. I am a responsible, capable adult with an amazing husband and loving home and I just don't understand how the universe deprives us of the gift of a baby and instead gives it to many who don't even want a child. Okay, end of whining. I just needed to get it out. Yes, it's crack-o-clock in the morning and I went to my computer for the sole purpose of crying poor me to the cyberworld.